Hey Empress,
Long time no see but let me explain before you hit unsubscribe because you forgot all about She 3.0. I know it’s been a while since you’ve gotten anything new in your inbox or seen anything on your Instagram feed from me.
So let me explain my hiatus. To be honest, it was much needed. Halfway through 2021, I started to feel uninspired……or was it burnt out? It was probably both. When I had the idea for She 3.0 in January 2019, I started right away like the impulsive person I am. I became obsessed with knowing everything I needed to start an online brand and finding a way to align this online brand with my purpose of empowering women. I spent countless hours Googling, writing notes, attending webinars, taking master classes, and doing workshops so I could be prepared for what’s ahead. I remember feeling so much fire within me for this new endeavor. It was all I thought about and everything I put my energy and time into it.
I was laser focused. I enjoyed the journey of starting from the bottom and connecting with women online who were either building their own online brand or exactly who I could help. I would receive DMs all the time from these women telling me how much my content empowered them. It was so fulfilling. I enjoyed the growing pains of being a content creator because it inspired me to be creative. I was proud of the steady growth I was experiencing and the small community I was building. I never felt overwhelmed or experienced imposter syndrome until 2021 when I started focusing more on the numbers and trying to turn this passion project into a monetizing side hustle.
I became consumed by all the outside noise of people telling me that the only way to be a successful online business was to narrow my focus so I could attract a specific audience for a specific purpose, aka niche down. Or that I needed to be posting on Instagram multiple times a day to increase my chances of my audience seeing my posts on their feed (even though they were already following me). Or that I needed to hop on the Reels bandwagon to be to favored by the ever changing algorithm. Or that I need to find a way to monetize my brand so I could be a full time entrepreneur and live life on my own terms.
Ironically, all of this only resulted in me feeling overwhelmed, discouraged, burnt out, inconsistent and far from living my life on my own terms. I had to accept that I am a multi faceted person so my path would never be straight or like anyone else’s. It will be unique and because of that acceptance, I was able to let go of this toxic mindset of thinking small and putting myself into a box built by other people’s opinions and experiences.
I have lots of interests and passions and so much creativity within me. I felt like I wasn’t being authentic and downsizing my ability to connect with all different types of people on multiple levels. I felt like I was doing a disservice to myself and others by not embracing the different sides of me and encouraging them to do the same. This made me more self conscious and self critical of my content that I stopped enjoying the process altogether. I dreaded it because I was always overthinking my next steps, struggling to decide if I even wanted an online brand/business anymore. I spent countless hours weighing the pros and cons and finding ways to pivot. I came up with different concepts but still, something was holding me back because I didn’t want to give up on She 3.0.
So I took a step back. When the Instagram/Facebook/WhatsApp blackout happened last year (on my birthday mind you), I felt so much relief. It was such a weight off my shoulders because I no longer felt the pressure to have to make this big, extravagant birthday post and wonder how many likes it’ll get or have this adventurous Instagram Story to share. I wanted to have a self-care day, do some reflection and it happened. I didn’t have anyone to keep up with and no one was keeping up with me. My close circle of family and friends reached out to say happy birthday, the traditional phone call and text way and I loved it. From then on, I spent time being introspective and asking the hard questions about who I wanted to be for this new year. I asked myself what I wanted to contribute to the collective in my lifetime, how much I would allow social media to determine my worth and if that mirrored who and what I was doing now. Long story short, it wasn’t.
In addition to feeling the pressure to downplay myself, I felt like instead of empowering women to see, believe and act on their highest potential and have the clarity, confidence and consistency to make their dreams a reality, my content was toxic positivity forcing them to keep going no matter what. Whew, that was a mouthful. After some real shadow work, I realized that it was actually a mirror of how I see myself. Because of my tough childhood, I am so used to depending on myself to be who I need other people to be for me. As a result, I had no choice but to raise the standards I have for myself and keep pressing on despite the constant uphill battles in my way being a first generation black woman from a poor/lower middle class family in America while dealing with my childhood trauma.
I’ve gotten tough because of the things I’ve experienced and very blunt because of the time I’ve wasted. I’ve seen people so broken from the hardships of life, that their own light has dimmed. I’ve seen people around me give up on themselves and their dreams instead of finding out how beautiful life can be and I promised myself that would never be me. I am so hard on myself because I want to make myself proud. I don’t want to disappoint myself even when other people disappoint me and in most cases, that results in less self compassion. I don’t want to be that person for myself and I don’t want to be that person for you. I’ve learned that it’s okay to say that life sucks sometimes. That it’s okay and important to sit in your feelings. The good and the bad. That it’s good to stay soft in such a hard world. That it’s okay to rest because that doesn’t always mean quitting. That life is a marathon and not a race.
So What Does This All Mean For She 3.0?
I’m not sure if that’s what you felt from my content in the past but nevertheless, I want to be 100% honest about what was going on behind the scenes. Since that epiphany last year, I set up time limits for Instagram and turned off my notifications for the app on my phone. Then I used the last few months of 2021 to nurture myself. I spent time getting back to myself and being more present. I spent it getting in tune with my spirituality and happiness. I redefined what fulfillment, happiness, validation, failure and success looks like to me but even after all of that, I still don’t know where She 3.0 stands in my life in 2022 and that’s okay. I’m still working on restructuring it and I am excited to show up for you authentically af in 2022!
One thing’s for sure- I want to be vulnerable during the journey and not only after the fact. I want to show you that vulnerability is strength. I want to show you that numbers do not determine your value. I want to show you that being your authentic self is priceless and it will allow you to see and experience the beauty in life. I want to show you that it’s okay to have times when you don’t take life too seriously even when life is constantly showing it how serious it can be. I want to show you that it’s okay to not have it all figured out and to remember that going for the ride is more fulfilling than being stuck in the process.
So cheers to 2022 and thank you for reading this email until the end. Thank you for your support of the She 3.0 brand and not giving up. Feel free to reply to this email and let me know what changed for you in 2021 and what new perspectives you’re bringing into 2022!
P.S. The She 3.0 Website is down and under maintenance for the time being. Once it’s up and running, I’ll definitely let you know because I miss writing blog posts so much!
Until next time,
Shantel xo
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