Everything started to go in slow motion. I felt hot and disoriented. It stopped me in my tracks. I had no choice but to hold onto the closest thing to brace myself for the impact.
I was just enjoying her company and shopping but in an instant, I felt this uneasy feeling and her voice sounded so far away. I felt hot and got that “fight-or-flight” response. I didn’t know what to do or how to express that to her so I choose flight and literally ran away while she was mid-sentence.
My mind is always going. I’m always thinking about what I’m doing right now, what to do next and even how to fix the past. I am always living in fast motion living in the past, present and future and that is extremely unhealthy but I also know that I am a work in progress and complete at the same time so I breathe and try my best everyday.
On top of living in a negative environment, I digested everyone else’s problems and just felt trapped with no escape in sight. That’s the worst. When you don’t even feel at home at home. I even started to accept that having 3-5 attacks a day was my new normal.
It’s so easy to brush it off and accept it as your new normal when that’s not how anyone should intend to live their life. Talk to someone who you trust about how you’re really feeling. Like really feeling. Don’t hold back.
I want better for you because you deserve to be at your best. All the time. You deserve to be happy and not weighed down by the burdens of your past, present or future.