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7 Ways To Stop Wasting Your Time Dating The Wrong People

Have you ever met someone, start to like them so you invest your time and energy into dating them just for it to be wasted in the end? I know how frustrating that can be and through my own experience, I’ve learned the hard way why I used to ALWAYS end up in those situations. Time after time, I would meet someone new and as I’m getting to know them, I see their potential (personal and relationship wise) and start to fall in love with it instead of seeing who they are at the present moment.
If you read my online dating post, you’ll know how tricky dating can be. Whether it’s online or in person, it’s a risk because feelings are inevitable. It makes sense that the longer you talk to someone, the more you want to spend time with them and the more you spend time with them, the more you start to care for them. You know their values and what they stand for. Their current situation and future aspirations but it’s only with time do you really find out who they really are.

A lot of people get passed the first round of dating because it’s easy to get wrapped up in the good things but by the second round, you have no choice but to face all the things in between. It’ll end up one or two ways- There’s some things you don’t like or it will be completely the opposite of what you were expecting/looking for.

I look at dating as a three step recruitment process. The first two months of dating are you reading the cover letter. It’s all the highlights of someone’s life. The things they’re proud of, what they want you to see and focus on. Their proof of value. Then by the third month on, you begin to dig deeper and start to read their resume, or all the smaller details of their past and present to really make a decision on who they really are and if they align with who you are. In other words, if they’re worthing you hiring into your life. A lot of people get passed the first round of dating because it’s easy to get wrapped up in the good things but by the second round, you have no choice but to face all the things in between. It’ll end up one or two ways- There’s some things you don’t like it all or it will be completely the opposite of what you were expecting/looking for. In either situation, you can convince yourself they still may be good enough to not be a deal breaker and push them to the final round. I mean no one is perfect. Everyone has flaws. Some you can work through. Some you just have to accept but some should be red flags that you shouldn’t ignore and that’s where most girls start to waste their time giving someone a position they aren’t qualified for and as a result, wasting their time. As compared to someone who was real with themselves and unqualified the person for the position at round two.
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In my post about being there for a friend in a bad relationship, I talked about another reason why some females end up in these situations- they don’t think they deserve any better. That’s when self-esteem and inner work comes into play. This is also when time is more important than ever! The timer is on and the longer you try to make something that’s not meant to work, work, the harder it will be to fire that person from the job you gave them. If you’ve been there or are currently there, forgive yourself and move on. You have to move on! Below are seven ways to stop wasting time dating people who aren’t worth your time.

7 ways to stop wasting time dating the wrong people

1. Come into it knowing who you are.
Knowing who you are is important in all facets of your life. When you know who you are, no one can mold you into who they want you to be.
2. Come into it knowing what you want.
I know a lot of people feel like expectations lead to disappointments and that’s true to a point but that doesn’t mean that it’s a bad thing. Everyone is not going to meet your standards and that’s okay.
3. Come into it knowing what you don’t want.
Know what your deal breakers are and stick to them! That’s when self-respect comes into play.
4. Take it slow.
I know how easy it is to get caught up in the honeymoon phase in the relationship when everything is going well but don’t rush anything until you’re ready. Listen to your intuition. Whether it be going over to their place, spending the night, having sex, going away together, saying “I love you,” etc. Those are all big steps that if rushed can ruin a relationship before it even begins.
5. Be aware.
Keep your eyes, ears, heart and mind open. Take notice of how they talk, if they do what they say they will do, how they prioritize their life, how their prioritize your feelings and time. Their actions are a direct reflection of their standards.
6. Bring up the “red flags” as soon as they happen.
Don’t just brush it off. It’s bothering you for a reason. Get it off your chest, communicate and I know you’ll feel better. I know a lot of people are afraid to bring up what bothers them when things are going good because it may ruin things but that’s worse than investing time into something that’ll end eventually because of that same thing you were trying to ignore.
7. Walk away if they don’t align.
Have the courage to let go if it isn’t for you. Don’t force it. It’ll hurt but put yourself first. Live in reality not a fantasy. There’s someone out there for you who is a better fit so don’t ever settle.

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About Me

About Me

Hi Empress! I show women the endless opportunities to be themselves by empowering them to embrace and grow from their shared experiences through vulnerability and community. I help you accept that you'll always be a work in progress and complete at the same time so you can take back power over your life and reach your full potential!

Shantel

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