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How To Use Your Happiness For Your Purpose

July 2, 2019 in Happiness, Anxiety and Depression, The Tough Stuff - 7 min read
Have you ever wanted more for your life but didn’t know where to start? I’m 25 and still trying to figure out my life so I can only imagine how it feels if you’re older, already chose a path and later found out it wasn’t the one for you. Or even if you’re younger and the possibilities feel endless which is a good and bad thing. In my post about my college experience, I talk about how I disagree with the societal pressure put on 16, 17, and 18 years olds to go to college, decide who they want to be and commit to it for the rest of their lives because truth is: 1)no one has this life thing figured out, 2) everyone’s journey is different and 3)the only constant in life is change. Plus what if you have multiple passions? Then you have to decide if you should turn your passion into your career or leave it as a hobby like something good to look forward to when everything else gets rough. On top of finding yourself and wanting to make your family proud.

In my opinion, it’s better to decide and try than stay stagnant and do nothing at all. By trying, you’re giving yourself the opportunity to find out if it’s for you or not. You never know until you give it a conscious effort and the sooner you know, the better. Like the She 3.0 mantra: “You’re always a work in progress and complete at the same time.”

It’s easy to get so overwhelmed that you end up frozen and not doing anything at all. I’ve seen it happen to people. Hell, I’ve had those days when I just wanted to run and hide to avoid making the big decisions but the hard truth is that time will pass whether you decide or not. In an ideal world, it would be great if you could take all the time you need to find yourself and your own definition of happy and success but sadly, most of us aren’t allowed that privilege because there’s obligations that we can’t escape from. In my opinion, it’s better to decide and try than stay stagnant and do nothing at all. By trying, you’re giving yourself the opportunity to find out if it’s for you or not. You never know until you give it a conscious effort and the sooner you know, the better. Like the She 3.0 mantra: “You’re always a work in progress and complete at the same time.” Be gentle with yourself and please don’t compare your life and timeline to anyone else. Focus on yourself and do what you can with what you can. Life has a funny way of giving you the answers you need in time as long as you do your part.
Through my own experience and being the organized person I am, I have created this eight step method that will help you organize your life and get you on the right track to finding your purpose through self reflection and the process of elimination. It takes time but I promise that, it’s worth it. Don’t let the negative naysayers project their regrets and limiting beliefs on you. I truly believe that you can be happy doing what you enjoy and am good at while making a living. In my opinion happiness comes before purpose. Not trying to convince yourself that what you’re doing will eventually make you happy. I’ve seen so many people do this and regret it. Are you ready to make positive change in your life!? Let’s get started!

The Happy Purpose Method

Step 1: Write down where you’d like to see yourself in 2-3 years. Don’t think 5-10 years. That’s too far ahead and life changes quickly. You want to be able to imagine something you have a possibility of imagining.
Step 2: Make a happy list. What are the things that make you happy? The things that you smile while doing instead of watching the clock. What are the things that take a while to complete but you still do anyway because you genuinely enjoy it?
Step 3: Make an unhappy list. You might not know what you want to do but I’m sure you know what you definitely don’t want to do. This will help you cross out what isn’t even an option and thus narrowing down your ultimate list.
Step 4: Make a strengths/values and weaknesses list. Everyone has things they’re good at and things they suck at. No one is great at everything. Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself what value you can give with the strengths you have.
Step 5: Combine your happy and strengths/values lists. Create as many combinations as you can with each.
Step 6: Make a pros and cons list. Pick the combination you like the most. If you were to follow through with that, what would be the pros and cons that you would face? Keep in mind, this is not a negative list. No matter what you do, even if you enjoy doing it, it will have challenges. Make sure you have an idea of the good and bad that comes along with it and how much you will follow through despite adversity.
Step 7: Make a plan that’ll stick. Make a plan to prepare yourself to take the next step and to conquer the challenges you may face.
Step 8: Execute. Here comes the time most dread- committing. Commitment shouldn’t be a negative thing when you’re doing what you love.
I know that was a mouthful so I’ll use myself and how I created She 3.0 as an example. If you read my About Me page, you’ll already know but I’ll break it down for you as it relates to The Happy Purpose Method:
Step 1: In 2-3 years, I want to have an impact in women’s lives. More than just physical beauty. I want it to be mentally and emotionally more than anything else because I found out in my personal journey that when I gained the internal confidence, I was unstoppable and everything else seemed approachable. The first step was facing my past and accepting the hand of life I was dealt. Naturally after that came embracing it, finding my voice, loving myself, the ability to stand up for myself, and confidently going after what I want. I want to empower every woman to feel that way.
Step 2: What makes me happy is expressing myself through writing, talking about vulnerability, having those heart to hearts with loved ones whether it be good or bad and encouraging them. What also makes me happy is creating content.
Step 3: What makes me unhappy is conforming. I want to live my life on my own terms at my own pace. I don’t like being put in a box. I’m too much of a free spirit and complex for that.
Step 4: My weakness is that I am very detail oriented. Sometimes I’m in my head too much dissecting everything. In other words, overthinking. It’s hard for me to be 100% done with a project because I feel like I can always improve.
My strengths are my bluntness, free-spiritness, creativity, and optimism. Those strengths bring value to everyone I encounter because I give an unconventional perspective to everyday situations with a spin of optimism. I know I’m one of a kind baby.
Step 5: By combining my strengths and give I can give, I found out that some people don’t like the truth and avoid it. Or they went through some sort of trauma in the past that still has a hold on them and that’s what inevitably holds them back from reaching their full potential. I will help them face their challenges and grow through them.
Step 6: Pros of creating this type of platform: it’ll be raw, unfiltered so it’ll be relatable and direct. Cons: not everyone likes the truth thrown at them. Not everyone will be comfortable with how open I am about the topics, I discuss on She 3.0.
Step 7: I did lots of research, created a business plan and made a list of S.M.A.R.T. (specific, measurable, approachable, relevant and timely) goals to what avenues I’ll use, how I will measure my progress along the way, when I’ll launch it, and a content strategy to stay consistent.
Step 8: I stuck to my plan, adjusted accordingly and launched She 3.0, what you’re reading right now and I’m proud of it and still learning and growing so much.
I hope that example helped. It is important for me to say that, it’s okay if your purpose is local instead of international. Everyone can make a change and it always starts small. Also, your purpose may not align with the one your loved ones expect it to be and that’s okay too. Respect their differences but remember that you have to live your life for you. If you have any comments or questions, feel free to comment them down below. To help you kickstart your journey, I created the Organize Your Life Template. It has NINE interactive worksheets to help you build daily routines, productivity and accountability- three MAJOR things that will promote change and progress in your life. Download it here!
Love,
Shantel

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About Me

About Me

Hi Empress! I show women the endless opportunities to be themselves by empowering them to embrace and grow from their shared experiences through vulnerability and community. I help you accept that you'll always be a work in progress and complete at the same time so you can take back power over your life and reach your full potential!

Shantel

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