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How To Recover From A Broken Heart

I’ve been there. I can admit that there have been times when I spent hours, sometimes a few days crying over a guy because he hurt me in a way I never thought he would. I’ve probably broke down booo-woooo’ing over one guy believing that it was all my fault and overthinking every past word and action. Then remembering that he’s not innocent and could have acted better too. Then back to thinking about the good memories, missing him and crying all over again. This is all realistic when it comes to heartbreak. It’s a cycle of being in dredd, second guessing yourself, dissecting the history and missed red flags, crying and starting all over again.
The thing is how many times are you going to go through the motions of heartbreak? I can’t guarantee that once you get over it and start feeling like yourself again, you won’t meet someone new, give them a chance and probably go through it again but I can tell you that you have control over how it affects you and your life. Forget about the shoulda, coulda, wouldas. Learn from this experience and move on. However, I know it’s not that easy. Especially when you’re in an emotional fog, don’t remember your worth and that person is running back. It’s not easy but you have to be strong. Here are a few ways that have helped me to recover from a broken heart:

1. Cut off all communication with that person.

Unfriend them on Facebook. Unfollow them on Instagram and Twitter. You will get tempted to contact them and try to rehash the situation but 9/10 times you’ll regret it. Or you’ll just end up stalking their socials trying to see if they are hurting like you are or dating someone new. Trust me, it’ll end up with you left holding an even uglier can of worms than you did before. Especially if things didn’t end on good terms. Even if they did, distance right now is best to have some much needed “me time” and remember who you are without them.

2. Give yourself some sad time.

Whether it was a good or bad end, you’ll still be sad. You’ll still be thinking about the good memories. No matter what, the good will outweigh the bad so give yourself time to be sad. Cry, watch a few sad movies in bed with some feel good food and listen to some R&B.

3. Remember who you were before them.

No matter what, please remember this: you were fine before them and you’ll be fine after them. Actually better now that you’re experienced what they were supposed to teach you that opens up your eyes and helps you grow. It could be that you’re a little selfish, a bit messy, can work on your communication, bad with money, have horrible time management, scared of trying new things, what you like in bed, etc. Regardless, you left them stronger and smarter. This is a time for you to be comfortable in your own skin and space again. Get back to who you are, what you want out of life and start working towards it.

4. Spend time with family and friends.

This is a no brainer. Everyone needs that good vibes environment of love, compassion and understanding every now and then. Go over a loved one’s place to cook a good meal together or order-in. Binge watch your favorite TV shows. Laugh for hours. Even vent. It’s always best to vent to people who really know you. It helps bring perspective and ground you. Though you’re heartbroken you’re never alone.

5. Find a good productive distraction.

Some distractions are good but they’re counterproductive. Some distractions are bad altogether. A bad distraction right now would be a rebound. You know, your plan B. Someone who you like but not as much as your plan A but can get the job done well enough. Can be a placeholder until someone better comes along. Or can give you company when you’re lonely and in your feelings.
A good productive distraction is getting back into that piece you’ve been working on, working out, throwing yourself into something you’re passionate about or finally trying something completely new. Use this distraction as an outlet to express and better yourself at the same time.

6. Remember your worth.

This is crucial. No matter how bad the person hurt you, most people would be willing to take them back one more time. Yes no one is perfect but know that love doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t boast. If that person made you feel less than or that you had to conceal any part of yourself to make them feel better or things just felt off with them, it’s best that they are out of your life. If it was just bad timing and you’re stuck on the possibility of finding someone like that again remember that what’s meant to be, will happen. The person for you will work out with you. Not apart. You have value and are beautiful.

7. Have a great pick me up.

Schedule a spa day. Get your nails done. Buy that bag or pair of shoes you’ve been eyeing. Take yourself out to lunch. Go on a solo trip. Go on a girl’s trip.

8. Don’t go back. Go forward.

Don’t be in this rut for too long. Life is about progression. The first step is the hardest but every small step adds up. If you want to know 10 simple ways to be happy right now, click here.

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About Me

About Me

Hi Empress! I show women the endless opportunities to be themselves by empowering them to embrace and grow from their shared experiences through vulnerability and community. I help you accept that you'll always be a work in progress and complete at the same time so you can take back power over your life and reach your full potential!

Shantel

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