Do you remember the last time you mustard up the courage to pursue your dreams and how excited you were to tell someone about it? You’re on this adrenaline high and your optimism is through the roof and you can’t wait to share this big news with someone who knows you? When you see them, you can barely keep it to yourself much longer. You’re anxious and a bit nervous to actually say it out loud to someone else but you know that it’s time.
However, when you finally burst and tell them that you’re finally pursuing this dream that you’ve been going back and forth with, their response doesn’t match your excitement. Like at all. It’s such a buzzkill. Instead of them congratulating you on it, they’re drilling you with questions about the small details like how and when. You might not have thought that far and all you want to tell them is the what. You’re proud of yourself for even taking the first step and want to celebrate. “How hard is that?” you ask yourself confused but trust me girl, it can be hard.
Or maybe you’re in a situation when you’re starting a new chapter in your life. The last chapter was filled with wasted time on the wrong things and people, hurt and regret. You’re ready to turn a new leaf and been thinking about which direction to go and you think to yourself “Everything has gone wrong when I did things that weren’t me, so don’t I finally do something that is for me like pursue my dreams?” Then you start to feel this glow inside of you and it’s filled with a bunch of emotions. They’re mainly the regular shoulda, coulda, woulda, and what if’s but you push through them anyway. You start to self-doubt yourself and wonder how you’re going to actually pull this off. You answer out loud “I’ll figure it out” and that gives you enough peace of mind for that moment. However, it’s the opinions of others that are the loudest and hardest to push away.
Unfortunately, everyone won’t get what a big deal pursuing your dreams is. They won’t be as enthusiastic about this new beginning and no matter how much you tell yourself, it won’t affect you, it does. It’s like you feel so empowered one minute and the next, not so much. All because someone put a damper on your parade before you can even truly get started. Fortunately for you, this is where I come in! I am the definition of a free spirit and walking to the beat of my own drum and I’m here to empower you to do the same.
But before we get any further, I want to tell you that I am proud of you. You’re such a badass and I can’t wait to see what you do next. Now back to this.
I can say from experience that confidently pursuing your dreams is the most freeing thing you’ll ever experience. However, I would also be lying if I said it was always like this. It’s ironic because the more freeing you want to be, the more other people want to put you in a box. It’s disappointing but I’ve learned not to take it personal.
That the lack of support when it comes to you pursuing your dreams stems from close mindedness and/or jealousy. While the lack of confident to pursue those dreams comes from you settling and/or not knowing your power. In other words, it’s either you, society or others. You gotta pick who you want to be, what you want out of life and who you’re living your life for. Let’s dive a bit more into each.
It’s easy to settle instead of pursuing your dreams. Especially when your life is an endless cycle of “if it’s not one thing, it’s another.” It’s draining to fight for the life you deserve just to face obstacle after obstacle. There’s only so much a girl can take before she’s defeated so of course you’d want to settle!
We see people settle all the time. Classmates, coworkers, people who we grew up with in our community, and even our loved ones do it as well. To be honest, most would rather settle than bet on themselves and I can bet that it’s because they tried and gave up on pursuing their dream too soon. I’m not saying that it’s all their fault either. There are a lot of systems put in place to make the rich, richer and poor, poorer but that’s another blog post for another day. If you read on my post about progress over perfection, you would feel encouraged to know that you aren’t alone in feeling how you do but you’ve got to keep pursuing your dreams. You may think you can convince yourself to be comfortable where you’re at and with what you have right now but you would only be kidding yourself.
Close Mindedness and/or Jealousy From Others
It isn’t long before you mindset becomes limited to the endless possibilities the world has to offer. When that happens, your actions don’t level up to meet those opportunities because you don’t believe that it can happen for you. In my Take Back Control Of Your Life Webinar, we talk about how your gender, family, and socioeconomic status, determines your status in this world. As well as the fact that things change and evolve and some people just can’t keep up. Or they simply don’t want to.
For the past seven years, the dream that I was pursuing was to build my online brand. I went through a few different names, niches and was inconsistent so when I finally came up with She 3.0, most of my family didn’t take me seriously. It was more like “okay that’s cute but when are you really going to get a job?” It hurt me because I was so excited. At first I was hurt but then I dug a little deeper and that’s when realized that it was their own mindset that was holding them back from seeing the full picture of the dream I was pursuing. Sometimes you have to take a step back and realize that it’s not you, it’s them and be okay with not being able to change their mind.
Not Knowing Your Power
Whether you were born with it or the skill developed over time, you have value and value and contribution works hand in hand. I strongly believe that it is your responsibility to hone onto that gift. To master it and share it with the masses because that’s how you truly have an impact. Everyone (including you!) has something to contribute to the world and I know what you’re thinking but no! Even though it may have been done before, the world has yet to see it done by you so you have actually have no other choice but to show up and give it to them!
That skill that you’re hiding is what someone out there needs but if you don’t believe it or allow the self-doubt, close mindedness and/or jealousy of others deter you from showcasing that, you’re doing yourself and the world a disservice. Someone may be stuck in their part of the journey where you come in just the way I’m coming in for you right now. If you can empower someone else to pursue your dream because you went after yours, isn’t that fulfilling enough? They deserve that and so do you!
So Now That You Know The Source, How Do You Become Confident Enough To Pursue Your Dreams?
1) know that it’s okay to want more. The reason why you feel the way you do; the reason why you’re reading this blog post right now is because deep down, you’re intrigued by that dream and what would happen if you finally pursue it. Most importantly, you know you deserve more. Those are already big first steps because like we discussed earlier, very few people have the courage is say that they want more.
2) you find out your why. Why do you believe that pursuing this dream is important to you? What will it change or achieve? Why do you think you deserve this happy ending?
3) you always remember your why. When the going gets tough, you should always be able to reference your why. It should be your motivation and keep you grounded when you start to doubt yourself.
4) you stay true to yourself. There’s a reason why they call it a personal growth journey. There’s only one you so you have to always look out for yourself and sometimes that means being intentional about yourself a priority. Happiness starts from within and when you live your life by that fact, you will find the courage to pursue your dreams because you know that only you can make yourself the happiest it’s ever been.
5) you hold yourself accountable. Here’s why S.M.A.R.T. Goals come in! If you’re a seasoned She 3.0 reader, you’re probably tired of me bringing this up but I can’t help it! I live by this and for good reason. They’re the person way to hone in on your goal, make a detailed plan and knowing how to measure your progress. If you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, click here to get your own Organize Your Life Template so you can organize your life so you can gain clarity and focus on the what means the most to you.
I hope this heart-to-heart resonates with you and empowers you to build the confidence to pursue your dreams. You are more than capable to turn your dreams into a reality because they are so much more than a daydream. If one of the dreams you want to pursue is building your own online brand in 2020, stay tuned for next week’s post where I talk about 10 things that I’ve learned building my own and how you can build a thriving one for yourself in 2020.